It was a day I'd been eagerly awaiting. The premier of The Dark Knight Rises. Batman is my favorite superhero of all-time, and I couldn't wait to see the movie. Since its release date coincided with my brother's birthday, it was the perfect excuse to to go to the midnight showing with him and my sister-in-law, Kristi, and my husband, Larry. It was a sort of tradition given that for his birthday a few years ago, we also went to see The Dark Knight in theaters to celebrate. Back then, it was a bittersweet evening because as we watched the film, we knew we'd never get to see Heath Ledger, who had just died, reprise his role as the Joker. So we smuggled a bottle of Crown Royal into the theater with us and spiked our sodas to toast the departed actor and his amazing performance. Last night, we had no booze, but we still had fun anyway.
And then as we left the theater, Kristi checked her Facebook page, and to our horror we saw how a monster opened up fire in a theater in Aurora and killed several people. You see, we live in Colorado, and we're not far from Aurora. I was stunned not only because the news was so horrible, but because by the grace of God, that animal didn't pick our theater to attack. It may sound callous of me, and it probably is, but my first reaction was "Why us?" Why is it always Colorado that sets the precedent for tragedy? We're a good state full of good people. So why is it when we have a bad day, we really have a bad day?
Then the anger started. As Larry and I watched the news unfold on TV, I began to rage. There were reports of how he shot a baby point blank in the face. Rumors circulated that he shot a pregnant woman as well. He ruthlessly mowed down entire families. Larry thought he was trying to act like Bane, a character in the movie, but I flat out told him he was wrong. It was no coincidence he chose last night to attack. People have been anxiously awaiting for Batman to come out, and he knew the theater would be jam-packed at this midnight showing. Even in our much-smaller cinema, the room was crowded, and some people had to stand on the stairs. Aurora's theater was much bigger, but I'm sure it was just as packed as ours. Furthermore, he picked a movie where it wasn't unusual for movie-goers to dress out of the ordinary. In our theater, we saw at least ten different guys dressed like Batman. Who was going to notice the guy in the mask? When he decided to attack, he lobbed tear gas at the people to stun and blind them so that it'd be very difficult to escape, and even harder to stop his rampage. Now news has come out that he carried an ammo drum that held up to 100 rounds. No, I told my husband, this wasn't the act of some nutjob who had delusions that he was Bane. These were the actions of a man deliberately trying to up the body count. As terrible as it is, I told Larry, he had very smart, organized tactics. If I was going to be a terrorist, that's how I'd do it. It was like that monster took a play right out of Hezbollah's book. There is no way anyone is going to believe this was a crime of passion. His actions are concrete proof that this was pre-meditated.
And if all those things weren't proof enough that he planned this tragedy to the letter, consider what's going on at this exact moment in Aurora. The bomb squad is trying to break into his apartment because he told the police he had bombs there. But they found he's rigged booby traps connected to chemical and incendiary devices to the doors and windows. One of his neighbors reported that last night, his stereo began blasting loudly and so she called the cops on him, not knowing he wasn't even home. Unfortunately, they were responding to the shootings so they couldn't investigate her complaint. Today, it turns out he rigged his stereo to a timer in order to lure first responders into his apartment, presumably to surprise and kill them in a blast as well.
The first and only word I can think of to describe this man is "chicken-shit."
What a petty, vile, evil little coward he is. Attacking families...attacking children! I've seen many people say that the kids had no business being there at a midnight showing, and perhaps that's true. But did they deserve to be shot because of it? And I understand why parents took their children. It's Batman! He's a superhero, a symbol of something greater than all of us, and he's their idol. I think Mike Huckabee said it best today when he remarked that "The movies are the place where we go to escape from reality, it's not supposed to be the place where we go to confront the absolute worst of it." None of us should have to live in fear of monsters like this. We should be able to feel safe when we go to the movies, and we should be able to feel safe taking our kids with us.
The anger still burns inside of me. I'm angry that this animal killed those people. I'm angry that it ruined my brother's birthday and what was supposed to be an epic night for movie-goers everywhere. I'm angry that now, whenever I see The Dark Knight Rises, I'm going to remember how a monster used it as a vehicle to kill as many people as he possibly could. I'm angry that people have already forgotten the victims and are now currently engaged in heated gun-control arguments on the news and on social media sites. I'm angry that assholes like Jesse Jackson and Michael Bloomberg can't even wait until the bodies are cold before they start stirring up that particular hornet's nest. I'm angry that now, I'm going to wonder if I can ever go to the movies again and be safe. I'm angry that the world sees this, and after Columbine, wonders what the hell is wrong with our people.
But most of all, I'm angry at him. In fact, every time the news shows his smug, smiling mug shot, I want to come through the TV screen and beat that arrogant look off his cocky face!
I refuse to say his name. I know what it is, but I will not be an active perpetrator of that monster's celebrity. And if you have a shred of decency, you won't acknowledge his name either. You'll just call him "monster" or "animal" because that's all he is.
But none of that matters, I suppose. Right now, what matters is the people who were hurt and killed, and their families. They need us to be strong for them, and they need us to support them. Right now, we should not engage in a gun-control battle tantamount to an episode in finger-pointing because there is really only one person to blame: the monster who did this. Arguing amongst each other only shows them that we only care about their shattered lives insofar as to prove a point in the debate. And that is the worst tragedy of all. These are people, not statistics.
I'm not big on prayer, but today, I'd like to conclude my blog entry with a prayer. Lord, I ask you to watch over the victims and their families, and even the people who were there but miraculously escaped unharmed. Please let the courts bring the man who did this to swift justice. Please watch out for our beautiful state, and our grieving citizens. Even if we were not there in person, we share this pain with our neighbors as if it were our own because they are our family too. Please let common sense and wisdom guide our political and community leaders so that they can best help us through this awful tragedy, and make good decisions when the discussion about guns continues. I ask that you help us stay strong with faith, love, and goodness in spite of how hard it is to feel anything positive right now. And finally, I ask you to grant us forgiveness for being so damn angry with this man. Amen.
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