An Angel on my Shoulder

Have you ever just had one of those days when you're inexplicably sure that you've got an angel following you around?

No? Okay, maybe that's just me.

I'm not paranoid, and I'm not crazy, just every now and then, my gut instinct tells me someone's watching over me. Not in an evil, ominous, take-an-axe-to-your-family way. Just observing.

My most recent episode started yesterday. I was just driving along and I could almost hear an angelic little ping when he popped in. And the moment it happened, I instantly knew who it was. Don't ask me to prove it because I don't know how. My gut just said, "Ping! Michael's here." Must be a slow day in the angel world because I am immensely boring.

Also, don't ask me why he's hanging around me. I don't have the foggiest. But I am certain he is here, even now as I write this, laughing at me because I'm perplexed by his presence here. Maybe he's pleased I can tell he's here. Who knows?

Okay, so in actuality I have a few theories about why Michael's here right now. I went to the doctor on Thursday because I've been feeling really crappy lately (I won't go into specifics), and he wound up diagnosing me with MRSA, a nasty staph infection that is very antibiotic resistant. I worked in a hospital once, this strain of staph kills people, no joke. On top of that, because it is so antibiotic resistant, there's only one antibiotic that is highly effective against it: sulfa. Great. But I'm deathly allergic to sulfa. The second go-to drug is about $1000 for a month's supply, the minimum length of time I have to be on it. Yeah, that's not happening. So my doc wound up putting me on his third choice, but basically, this drug is a cross-your-fingers-and-hope-to-God-it-works antibiotic. Furthermore, this is a super-infectious bacteria, as contagious as pink eye. So on top of worrying about whether or not I'm going to live through this, I'm also worried I'm going to inadvertently infect and kill one of my friends or loved ones.

Needless to say, it's been a stressful weekend spent in isolation with Chlorox wipes.

The other reason, I think, is because in my Bible as Lit class, we started off the semester reading about Adam and Eve. This made me think about the Book of Adam and Eve in which he has a starring role. Thinking about that led me to think about how I've devoted the last fifteen plus years of my life studying angels, demons, and their role in religion, but even still, I don't feel like my classmates take my knowledge seriously. Sometimes I forget that I'm at the fringe of things that are acceptable fields of study.

I think he's here because of a particular trickster who manifested himself in my life. And, just like the tricksters of folklore, mine managed to screw with my perceptions of the world. And then the coward ran off left me trying to put the pieces together. Again.

But lastly, I think Michael might be here because I was supposed to go to Mexico to see him this fall, but wound up not having the means. Again. I wound up spending the cash I had paying for everyone else's needs. Part of me is so mad at myself for doing that. I'm not sorry I bought my kids schoolclothes and their stuff. But I'm ticked off that I didn't have the guts to tell everyone else no, to put myself first. I'm always being accused of being selfish, so why the hell didn't I have the guts to be this time? I've needed this spiritual journey for a long time, and I've known I've needed it. But I didn't realize until a week ago just how much. I'm so depressed that I'm in this position.

So yeah, you might think I'm crazy for believing I have a literal angel on my shoulder, but I'm certain he's there. Hanging out. Probably laughing and pointing.