Sacred Writing

The year is nearly over. Describe some things you'd like to do before 2012 begins.

I'd like to finish my fan-fic story that I'm writing for the Novel Writing Challenge. It's so not serious compared to the work I usually do, and that was its big draw. I'd also like to fix up my house, as in remodel and renovate it, but that's going to depend largely on whether or not I get my settlement check, and how much I get at that! I want to spend a week doing nothing but watch TV and play the Xbox. Of course, that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Oh, and for my anniversary, I want to do something really fun and out of the ordinary, something like hunting ghosts up at the Stanley Hotel.

Mortal Kombat, Round 2

So, for kicks, I decided to write those Mortal Kombat fan-fic stories I talked about in an earlier post, and I started constructing my Sub-Zero one as carefully as I would a piece of serious literature.

I promise you, I'm trying to write this like I'm Shakespeare. I say this because I perused some internet fan-fic to see what kinds of trends were going on.

Jesus effin Christ!

The writers of some of this drivel shouldn't be allowed to own a computer, much less operate one and post stuff to the internet. Who the hell taught these people how to write?

There were so many problems with their fan-fic that I really don't know where to begin bitching about it. The biggest problem is that 99% of them were so anxious to see their favorite Mortal Kombat character in a story that they didn't take the time to actually develop a story. Good lord, I hate Stephenie Meyer's work, but at least she actually took the time to hammer out how necrophilia was going to play a pivotal role in her novels. Mileena's naughty slumber party may sound like fun if you're a teenage boy, but did you forget about her Tarkatan mouth full of razor sharp teeth, and how she's a biter? Trust me, boys, you don't want that chick anywhere near your zipper.

And I'm not even going to address the spelling and grammar issues that arose...

Reading their overly emotive-but-not-well-thought-out crap, I kept replaying that scene in my mind from The Dark Knight, the part where the Joker says, "This town deserves a better class of criminal." I could say the same thing about fan-fic: The internet deserves a better class of fan fiction. And I'm going to give it to them.