Describe the most disappointed you've ever been in someone.
My good-for-nothing mother is a perpetual disappointment to me. That's the risk you run when you're the child of a drug-addicted alcoholic. My brother and I constantly ask each other, "At what point did we surpass our mother in maturity?" I wish I could say it was just one thing that made her a failure, but the truth is it's a mountain of things. Like, showing up drunk to every single one of my children's births. Or the way she stumbled through Wal-mart one day for four hours before my grandpa called me to rescue her, and of course by then she'd bumped into several people we knew who wound up being too polite to say anything to me. Or how she got on Facebook on my birthday and told all her friends that I was a selfish, worthless excuse of a daughter who cared nothing about her troubles with her creditors. It is so ironic and cruel that my friend Michaela could lose her mother, a woman who so clearly loved her and cared for her, when my mother, a woman who long ago ran out of opportunities, still lives.
Showing posts with label Sacred Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacred Writing. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Sacred Writing
Write about a moment of anger.
Larry, in a moment of rage and desperation, once asked me how I can control my anger so much better than everyone else.
"Because I've lived with it longer," I said.
It was true. Anger is my oldest companion. I've always been angry, since I first have memories of memories. It's been a sleeping monster inside of me, always there, waiting to get off the leash. I used to let it run free, but I hurt someone, my mother, so now it's always tethered inside of me, struggling to break loose. It was difficult to tame it, and it will always be a wild animal, but it's my faithful friend regardless. Other feelings are fleeting, coming in dribs and drabs, but my anger is permanent, fixed.
Larry, in a moment of rage and desperation, once asked me how I can control my anger so much better than everyone else.
"Because I've lived with it longer," I said.
It was true. Anger is my oldest companion. I've always been angry, since I first have memories of memories. It's been a sleeping monster inside of me, always there, waiting to get off the leash. I used to let it run free, but I hurt someone, my mother, so now it's always tethered inside of me, struggling to break loose. It was difficult to tame it, and it will always be a wild animal, but it's my faithful friend regardless. Other feelings are fleeting, coming in dribs and drabs, but my anger is permanent, fixed.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sacred Writing
Write about something you've lost:
I lost my grandpa a few months ago, and I'm still a little in shock over it. My dad thinks I need counseling because of it, and maybe he's right. I can't get Grandpa's hand out of my memory. I can still see it, swollen from kidney failure, brightly illuminated, pale but mottled. I squeezed it, and it was cold even though he wasn't dead yet. My mom should've been there instead of me, but coward that she was, she ran out of the room crying, leaving me there to hold his hand while he took his last breaths. It's an odd thing to feel someone's pulse fade into nothingness, and to sense the soul slip through your own fingers as it escapes to Heaven. I just can't let go of his hand, his cold, unmoving, unreal hand. It's frozen in my memory.
I lost my grandpa a few months ago, and I'm still a little in shock over it. My dad thinks I need counseling because of it, and maybe he's right. I can't get Grandpa's hand out of my memory. I can still see it, swollen from kidney failure, brightly illuminated, pale but mottled. I squeezed it, and it was cold even though he wasn't dead yet. My mom should've been there instead of me, but coward that she was, she ran out of the room crying, leaving me there to hold his hand while he took his last breaths. It's an odd thing to feel someone's pulse fade into nothingness, and to sense the soul slip through your own fingers as it escapes to Heaven. I just can't let go of his hand, his cold, unmoving, unreal hand. It's frozen in my memory.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Sacred Writing
Imagine that you've just been granted the power to do whatever you want on Thanksgiving, and your family has to obey you. Are there any traditions you would get rid of? Are there any foods you would cross off the menu? Describe what Thanksgiving would be like if you were completely in charge of it.
Honestly, I think my family's Thanksgiving is pretty good the way it is. We don't make any food that everyone secretly hates, and we spend the day playing and watching football on T.V. Some years, we even put up our Christmas tree.
The only thing I would change is the times we gather with my dad's family for Thanksgiving. I would forbid my cousin Melanie from cooking anything! Blech. What God-awful food! She's never heard of salt or spices of any kind. She's married to a chef, which makes her inability all the more puzzling. One year, he made this amazing stuffing with dried cranberries and shredded carrots, and it was OH-MY-GOD good! Paired with his amazingly moist and tender turkey, it was like eating Heaven. I wonder why he hasn't taught her anything about cooking. So that's all I'd change. I'd ban her from the kitchen, and make him take the helm every year!
Honestly, I think my family's Thanksgiving is pretty good the way it is. We don't make any food that everyone secretly hates, and we spend the day playing and watching football on T.V. Some years, we even put up our Christmas tree.
The only thing I would change is the times we gather with my dad's family for Thanksgiving. I would forbid my cousin Melanie from cooking anything! Blech. What God-awful food! She's never heard of salt or spices of any kind. She's married to a chef, which makes her inability all the more puzzling. One year, he made this amazing stuffing with dried cranberries and shredded carrots, and it was OH-MY-GOD good! Paired with his amazingly moist and tender turkey, it was like eating Heaven. I wonder why he hasn't taught her anything about cooking. So that's all I'd change. I'd ban her from the kitchen, and make him take the helm every year!
Sacred Writing
The year is nearly over. Describe some things you'd like to do before 2012 begins.
I'd like to finish my fan-fic story that I'm writing for the Novel Writing Challenge. It's so not serious compared to the work I usually do, and that was its big draw. I'd also like to fix up my house, as in remodel and renovate it, but that's going to depend largely on whether or not I get my settlement check, and how much I get at that! I want to spend a week doing nothing but watch TV and play the Xbox. Of course, that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Oh, and for my anniversary, I want to do something really fun and out of the ordinary, something like hunting ghosts up at the Stanley Hotel.
I'd like to finish my fan-fic story that I'm writing for the Novel Writing Challenge. It's so not serious compared to the work I usually do, and that was its big draw. I'd also like to fix up my house, as in remodel and renovate it, but that's going to depend largely on whether or not I get my settlement check, and how much I get at that! I want to spend a week doing nothing but watch TV and play the Xbox. Of course, that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Oh, and for my anniversary, I want to do something really fun and out of the ordinary, something like hunting ghosts up at the Stanley Hotel.
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